just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
