Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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