I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
