So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
