i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
