I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
