thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
