Is it normal to miss your booty call?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
