mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
