no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
