I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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