k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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