nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Someone came in the potted fern
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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