Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
