Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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