if you like me you must not know who I am
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
