she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You are a genius and a whore.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
