so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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