weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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