Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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