I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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