her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
