Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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