I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize