Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
