You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
