His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
