i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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