I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
