I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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