Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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