i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
