Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
