He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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