using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
