he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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