Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
