I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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