I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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