Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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