I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I need moral support for this bender
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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