I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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