I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
