he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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