just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize