I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
