thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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