Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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