her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
