I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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