We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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