Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
