the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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