That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it hurts more in the daytime
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
