I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
