i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
