4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
