If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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