We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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