I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
