Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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