there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
